Bats and Birds

(TUESDAY)

I guess I better post this now, because it looks like I may not have internet for the next little while!  Who knows how long… hopefully no more than a week!  Andhra Pradesh (the state I’m living in) is splitting into two, and the people aren’t happy so everyone is going on strike!  Which means no internet stick, no recharging minutes on my phone, and even no wi-fi café now… the only internet access at all I can find is in the church or if I use someone else’s internet.  Ohhhh India. :) You are just as I imagined, hahah.

Things have been great!  We started our first classes yesterday, and they were awesome!  We have a Telugu class (which is the local language here) and a Carnatic Vocals class.  I am also going to be starting Yoga and Meditation.  Here are some pictures/videos of our first class yesterday.

Vocals Class

 

Our teacher Serma

 

A video Krishnayya helped me take… hahah

And a few more from last week

Durgha’s pregnancy ritual… we spread sandalwood, turmeric, and kumkum on her face and then sprinkled rice on top of her head.  They are symbols of protection, good luck, and fertility. 

Doctor Nuckolls with Krishnayya in the back 

 

Raju, Durgha’s husband

Putting the bangles on… always a struggle! Haha.  Durgha now has to wear all of these on her wrists until the baby is born

Ayyyyy mi vida :) I am way too attached to this kid

 

 

Us 4 girls with our saris on! :)

One of our translators, Rajalakshmi

 

At pooja for the goddess Lakshmi--goddess of wealth

 

The other night we went up to this big park up on the hill called Vuda Kailasagiri and it was absolutely beautiful!!  You get a view of all of Vizag—where we live.

 

 

 

 

We also went to a book store where I bought all of these little books for my project… they were all about 2-10 cents a piece.  I love India. :) hah.  Then we went to this Meditation Hall that was devoted to this guru who died awhile back—Meher Baba.  He is known mostly because he spent the last 40 years of his life completely silent.  Never said a word!  He communicated through a letter tablet and hand gestures.  Below is basically his version of the Plan of Salvation.  Very interesting!

 

Aaaaaaaand, here’s my room!! It’s pretty dang nice.  I love it. :) (plus I have a real toilet now! Woohoo!)

 

So on Sunday I was reading the book ‘The Worth of a Soul’.  Great book.  It’s written by a guy who was excommunicated from the church and then re-baptized.  From it we learn a lot about sin and real repentance—real commitment.  There are a lot of quotes in it that I really liked… here are a few:

“No one can hope to escape from their faults and failures until they are willing to face what they have become in total brutal honesty”

--he talks a lot about shortcutting repentance, and how a lot of times we try to downplay our actions or just bury them (this is totally me!!), but in reality if we really want to change and become a new person, we have to recognize with complete brutal honesty our faults and failures, and from there we can start to face them and overcome them

“God judges the sincerity of our repentance by two standards: first, by the fact that we confess them, and secondly, that we forsake them”

--just as he says before, leaving them behind or changing them… not doing them again, is half of repentance.  It shows the sincerity of our repentance.  Well that’s sad, because we often make the same mistakes over and over again.  But I think that’s why being totally and brutally honest with ourselves and making sure that we even go the extra mile to change ourselves is extremely important if we really want a sincere and lasting change—not just a quick fix.  Also, trying to fix them by ourselves never work (that seems to be a lesson I continue to have to re-learn, haha).  It is only when we really fully and sincerely turn to Christ that we can truly be changed.

“those who need love the most usually deserve it the least”

--I loved this quote.  He talks a lot about helping those who are stuck in sin or in the repentance process.  There are those who reject them, turn angry, or are offended or hurt, and there are others that just love them.  The person going through that process already faces enough difficulty struggling with sin and trying to overcome it, they definitely don’t need the judgments of others to add on top of that.  I don’t think it matters how much someone sins, how often, or how many times they cry wolf and try to change but fall back into their ways.  Everyone still always deserves our love, respect, and support, and we are not in any place to put judgment on anyone.  Of course we have to be careful to not let others bring us down, but that is a different issue.  When it comes to accepting and loving and helping those who struggle, we not only should show them support, but should reach out to them more than we normally would.  Like he says… those who probably don’t deserve it that much, most likely need it more than anyone else, and that is our duty to reach out to those people and show them that it doesn’t matter who they are or what they do, they are still worth just as much as anyone else and deserve our love just as much as anyone else.  That’s how God sees them… his same children with the same value they have always had.  That’s how we need to see them too.

He then talks about how sin is an attitude of independence from God.  It is our way of showing him that we don’t need His way, we have our own way and will follow that.  And the result that we get from that is alienation from God… we don’t have the spirit with us.  Sometimes we think by being independent  (meaning doing things our own way) we are more free, but this life is really to learn how much dependency we really need on Christ.  When we are ‘independent’ or try to do things on our own and in our own way, we end up with less freedom.  “We function best in an environment of freedom.  We are free when we are independent, and we are totally independent only when we are completely dependent upon the Savior.” So true. :) (this always reminds me of those little toys [see photo below] where if you put both of your fingers in, you can try and try and try to pull them out but they are not coming out until you give in, and bring both fingers together in the middle.  It makes me think of how hard we can pull and pull to go our own way, but as long as we pull we are only going to be more stuck.  The only way to truly get out is to humble ourselves and learn that letting down our guard and giving our will up to Him is the only way we will really become free.)

He shared his story of real conversion and how he really changed after being excommunicated… which only happened when he finally gave up his will to God and formed a real relationship with Christ.  He said he had been trying to control himself for years on his own, but when he finally realized that Christ is the only one that can take away those desires, he gave himself up and the desires were gone. 

“God is only waiting for that happy time when the heart is truly ready to receive. ‘Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow’.”

“The moment we set our face in the same direction as His, we are walking with God.”

“But he says not ‘at the end of the way you may find me;’ He says ‘I am the way, I am the road under your feet, the road that begins just as low down as you happen to be.’”

I know that real repentance is possible and real change is possible, only when we truly and completely humble ourselves before God.  When we are totally honest with ourselves and with him and truly willing to do whatever it takes to become a new person, Christ allows us to do that and we become new creatures.  I also know that we need to be patient and ever so loving to those who struggle.  No one is perfect and we are in absolutely no position to judge or even become angry with anyone for sinning.  Not those who are in the repentance process or those who refuse to repent or can’t seem to get it right.  That is a very harsh and naïve view on our part if we see someone that way… sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom ourselves to really understand how hard it is to always do what’s right, and especially how hard it is to change after making a big mistake.  For that reason, we need to love everyone unconditionally, no matter where they are in life or what they are choosing to do.  We are all in different places in our lives, and everyone deserves our support and love no matter where they are at.  Especially if they are struggling.  That’s when we all need it the most—when we are lost, struggling, or totally undeserving of it.

This book was really interesting to read in the context of my project—self control and self-mastery.  He mentioned in his book that every other religion tries to reach the ultimate goal on their own, while Christianity recognizes the need for a savior.  It will be interesting to see from the aspect of these other religions, how they take control of themselves and how much will power and agency they gain through their good choices, but how much a Savior is still necessary. 

As I was reading this book, Emily and I were sitting out on our balcony chatting.  We were watching all of the birds fly in and out of the trees that are right in front of our house across the little street.  After about an hour of chatting, we realized that these were not birds at all, they were bats!  I had to run and grab my glasses and look closely, and I saw that they were indeed bats.  And actually, there were birds there too, but very few of them.  Realizing that there were trees full of hundreds of bats right in front of our house was of course both fascinating and very eerie.  We watched as they flew in and out of the trees, and as we paid attention to details we began to notice the difference between the birds and the bats.  It was nighttime so all we could see were their silhouettes against the moonlit sky.  The birds flew with hurry and direction, flapping their wings rapidly, and you could see the outline of their feathers at the bottom of their wings.  The bats flew swiftly and glided through the air, using their wings more like a parachute.  The curves of their bone and wing structure was visible and opposite of that of the birds’.  It was incredible and also scary to watch all of these bats come in and out, flying just feet away from us.  When I put my glasses on and paid attention, all of what had just been big black blobs flying in and out became a large group of bats and a couple of birds.

I have thought about this a lot.  What a difference… a bat and a bird.  They are two completely different species of animals.  They may appear similar, but in reality they are probably more different than they are similar.  I think this can apply to a lot of aspects of life—it’s incredible how much of a difference the details make.  One turn of a tiny hinge can send the edge of a door feet away from it’s original position.  The small things—the details—make the biggest differences.  If we don’t pay attention to them, we can often mistake one thing to be something else.  What’s important is knowing the truth.  So we need to pay attention to the details.  It is the seconds and minutes we pass by so nonchalantly that make up our days and our lives.  A change in just dna and genetics, the tiniest of particles, can make two creatures that physically look similar, but have totally different purposes and characteristics.  We can so easily mistake one thing for another when we don’t pay attention to the details.  But when we do pay attention, we are able to understand to see things more clearly and understand truth, which allows us more freedom and more control over our lives.

Anyway… things are going well here in the incredible India.  I have a lot of time to read, study, reflect, and just take everything in which has been a nice break from my normal busy and distracted life and a good time to really put things into perspective and learn with a clearer headspace.

Until the day I finally get internet!... (that day that seems to never come, haha) peace outttttttt